HW 28

For abdul:

I think the best part of this HW was that you showed the actions of someone receiving sufficient medical care, which is a situation we hardly dealt with in this unit. It was interesting how you talked about people reactions to her even after she was out of the hospital and how she reacted to that. The lack of knowing how to act around the ill or recovering is still awkward regardless of the medical treatment they receive. Good job at focusing on a topic we went into little depth about. Maybe there is some relation between the patients behavior and their health for example if your cousin was still sick would they like to be babied or not, how would their wants change depending on their situation.

From abdul: I think the best part of this HW was that you showed the actions of someone receiving sufficient medical care, which is a situation we hardly dealt with in this unit. It was interesting how you talked about people reactions to her even after she was out of the hospital and how she reacted to that. The lack of knowing how to act around the ill or recovering is still awkward regardless of the medical treatment they receive. Good job at focusing on a topic we went into little depth about. Maybe there is some relation between the patients behavior and their health for example if your cousin was still sick would they like to be babied or not, how would their wants change depending on their situation.

From younger:

From older:I liked this passage the best because the effective description you offer sets up the analysis later in the essay to be more powerful. Even though you give the reader a vivid picture of what daily life in the home is like but the small errors in your English discredit your work, make it harder to take seriously. This is not a small problem as you move toward college and find yourself wanting to make points that professors will not like, perhaps. Don't make it easy to dismiss your work as the product of someone who's not serious. I also put your run on sentences below in black. Don't try to stuff too many discrete ideas into one sentence. Give each idea room to breathe.